31 lessons from 31 years

Some things I've learned + SF meetup

I started writing this as my 31st birthday approached and finally got around to finishing it.

Here are 31 lessons I’ve learned so far in my unusual life. 

1. Don’t give unsolicited advice. 

2. Have friends outside of your profession.

3. Events, both good and bad, are more often enjoyable when they become memories. 

4. Getting punched in the face once permanently reduces your fear of it happening again. 

5. Buy multiples of common use items. Nail clippers, scissors, screwdrivers, lighters, tape, etc. Spending a little extra to put one in each room is better than searching every room, drawer, and cupboard when the need arises. 

6. Read at least ten pages of a book every morning. 

7. You don’t look like your favorite photos of yourself. 

8. Keep at least 50 bucks in your wallet. 

9. If you have a good idea or an interesting thought, always write it down. 

10. When seeking advice, ask people in a different life station than you. 

11. Good conversations are made up of questions. Avoid speaking for longer than three minutes without asking one. 

12. Envy knows many disguises.

13. The qualities women favor for male friends: athleticism and success. The quality men favor in female friends: Physical attractiveness.

14. Just as not all romantic relationships are meant to last, neither are all friendships. 

15. Drink less. 

16. Reading a badly-written book will remind you to appreciate well-written books. 

17. Greed is better than envy. 

18. Sleep with your phone in another room. Or at least out of reach.

19. Be strict with yourself and forgiving of others. 

20. Consciously exercise gratitude. 

21. Don’t be the smartest person in the room. 

22. People are busy, distracted, and tired. Always follow up. 

23. Listen to archived episodes of Loveline (1995-2005). Start here and work backwards.

24. Poor people pretend to be richer than they are, and rich people pretend to be poorer than they are. 

25. Your choices shape your identity, not the other way around. 

26. At funerals, people don’t talk about the accomplishments of the deceased. They talk about their character. 

27. You are what you do. Not what you say or what you believe. 

28. Originality is impossible. Just because it’s been said before doesn’t mean it’s not worth saying again. 

29. Be kind, but always have a “fuck off” chambered and ready to go just in case. 

30. If you can, tip more than you should.

31. Self-discipline beats motivation. 

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Just a heads up: I’ll be at 620 Jones in San Francisco on May 31 at 6pm. Feel free to drop by and say hi.